Tired

im so worn out, so stressed, so fucking sick of my life. i know there are much people worse off than me..take ppl in africa for example, & i shouldn't complain about my life so much cuz compared to those ppl, im like a sopiled bitch, but i can't help it. everyone has their own problems in life..

It's just that i feel like all my problems have piled up..& some maybe related
#1) im having problems in school, my grades are soo sinking cuz..[ related to all of the below]

#2) i havn't really got much time the last few days with all the fixing&adding&sewing stuff on the clothes thing im making for the fashion model runway thing <---that sounds so barbie-ish lol. anyways it was today, & looking at how some other people did their's, im really not pleased about my work. even tho i didnt spent a penny on the cloth material but i spent endless hours fixing it up.[i added more decorations on it, no time for another pic tho] & now look! im stressed, im not getting enough sleep& im NOT PLEASED WITH THE FINNISH. p.s the first round was today & Oh Damn. everyone got so much beautifuler & hotter! aha, im kinda dissapointed tho. watching everyone running around getting dressed & me helping them & holding their stuff&doing their makeup. i don't like it, to be honest, i don't like doing backstage work ]: & everyone was all saying omg, why did u design clothes, u should have modeled, blah blah blah. yea..should have, could have. w/e #3) having relationship problems that my bf don't even realize. -_- yea..im just too afraid to love...& in the end..me & my stupid issues is gonna ruin us. #4) still can't stop ditching class ]< last time, stayed out too late during lunch & we ended up skipping all afternoon classes! WTF?! i know..]: #5) i hate my class! all the dumbass boys there. they r soo cruel & dispicable, i wanna spit on them! they have no respect, i swear! today, they made the geography teacher cry while swearing at them. it was so painful to watch cuz they was just laughing when she was crying. during the whole classtime, they was just saying how no one cares about geography, even dogs wouldn't listen to her talk, her class is shit...etc. i mean forreal! are they even human? they are the reason why the classroom is so noisy, & Sometimes it don't even feel like a classroom, feels like a zoo! how are we suppose to keep a calm peice of mind during class when there's all those shit happening around us? #6) Im so alone, i have said this a million times yet im still gonna say it. sometimes it feel like the only one i can lean on is myself now..

IN ALL, IM JUST SO STRESSED! these two days i just wanna cry but the tears wouldn't fall...i want to be in the comfort of my bf's arms but he's always not there..& i dont wanna be the kinda gf to hog up all his time cuz i know how annoying that can be to his friends. & lately his good friend just got dumped & is hella heartbroken, so he just hella clings on to my bf now...i see them always together, & i just feel so..idk..words can't describe how i feel. today i saw after school, i was at the bus stop & i saw em walking in my direction.[ they didn't see me] i just turned & left..idk why i even did that! & yesterday, i saw them two again except they were in front of me, i just kept walking slower until i couldn't see em no more.. im so weird, i dont even get myself sometimes, i crave his company yet i chose to avoid him. wats wrong with me?