My Insecurities Is Killing Me

When I saw you,
I was afraid to meet you.
When I met you,
I was afraid to kiss you.
When I kissed you,
I was afraid to love you.
Now that I love you,
I am afraid to lose you.



Too bad my mind just thinks too much.

let me update what happened between us on Friday.
I told my friend i was scared that something was up between me & him. then she saw how emo i was during lunch so after lunch, she pulled me up to him & forced us to talk. Lol OMG! I LOVEE HER FOR THAT! so yea, after that, our week of akwardness finally ended. He told me to wait for him afterschool so i did. his class letting out hella late...as usual -_- hate his goddamn teacher.

WE walked home & then we got on this topic...& he made me hella pissed. it was almost as if he was purposely trying to make me jelouse, WTF is his problem, i mean wats the reason behind telling me all that. to make me feel more insecure than i already am or to make me think ur a pedo. Gosh, such a jerk...i hate that i fall for jerks -_-
*sign...i wanna believe that he said all those to make me treasure him more, to hold on to him more & not take him for granted...cuz i admit it. lately i HAVE been acting kinda off.
BUT GOSH! WHY DO YOU HAVE TO SAY ALL THOSE THINGS??! WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO THINK OF YOU???

u make me unsure & sad now...
yet i still want you...so bad.
hehe, when we stood under the trees, we kept electric shocking each othe everytime we touched. Lol, i guess u can say we have a spark between us. (: there was this quiet moment where you held me & whispered to my ear: "did u miss me?" there was doubt in ur voice ]: i said yes, But u will never have any idea of how much...cuz i will never admit it...
Im a stupid girl who fell for a stupid boy.
I hate that i have to put on a tough act all the time..even in front of my own bf, when actually...im so weak inside ]:
We havn't talked much this week, i care, & i know htat u care, yet both of us dont show it. we are so different yet so alike at the same time.
He said: " so we havn't talked much this week"
Me:" oh, really? i didn't notice, i wonder why?"
Him: "yea, I've been busy lately i guess."
^ SEE WHAT I MEAN???
no way this relationship is gonna work if we both keep at it like this. im scared...