so recently,me&him had another one of those break ups. and I was really upset or w/e.
today,I went out with this other guy.we didn't do much cept go get my broken cellphone fixed and drank some coffee and talked.yeah,u guys may be thinking so what,nothing wrong with that, but the thing is, my bf(ex,but let's just call him that)is really concerned about this dude,he thinks we're too close when in reality, we are not even that close. my bf became really controlling and especially telling me not to hang out with that guy. that guy apparently bothers him soooo much that he gets mad if he even as so stands behind me. yeah and the weird thing,they're "friends"
throughout the day, I kept feeling bad, like I'm doing something wrong when I'm not cuz technically we broke up. I hate that I'm letting his controllingness get to me,like wtf, it's my life,I know I should just completely stop this cycle of lovers->strangers->friends->lovers with him but I just can't !! I'm am ashamed of myself -_-
anyways,I just hate that feeling of guilt when deep down,I know I'm doing nothing wrong, I know he's too controlling, I know...
night hits and I started getting more messed up in my head. like that guy texted me and told me he wanted to go watch this movie. then proceeded to ask me if I seen it and that it's a good movie and told me he wanted to see it tommorrow at this theater. well,what do you think people would ask after that-_- I started feeling so... idk, but I avoided the question, thank god. cuz I think if anyone saw us they would just automatically think it's a date just cuz it's the movies..and cuz we've been told we look like a couple.
I'm still talking with my bf right now but havnt seen him for four days after that fight. maybe I should just keep it this way.. lol, I'm just kinda getting sorta close to people, but at the same time, distancing myself. that's what I've been doing with most ppl here cept my bf, till now that is:p
I'm starting to feel really messed up in the head. and boy I already know he's really messed up. but let's see how long my brain will win against my stupid retarded heart..
