i miss starbucks
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Why?
This guy has such a sexyy back! drools..lol
This is for the girls that are always complaining about why they still dont have a bf and crying over stupid jerks. That's right! girls dont need guys to make em happy cuz most times, they just make it even worse & more complicated. LEARN TO BE INDEPENDENT! (: & seriously, its at times when you least expected it, that the right guy will just come along. so yea, please..STOP bringing yourself down when u complain about why you cant get guys. Because You Are Beautiful, nothing is wrong with you. & another thing is, dont be dreaming about some fairytale & prince charming, you'll just get dissapointed later on.
so recently..hella people been telling me how me & my bf dont fit & we shouldn't be together.It seems like everyone is so against our relationship. girls even ask me why do i like him even though he's so ugly. FCK YOU! relationships is not all about looks. maybe some stupid bitches are just too immature to get past that. & wtf, he is not ugly! i just wanna punch those stupid bitches when they say that. Why would you insult my bf in front of me. there's this quote: " take a look at yourself in the mirrors before you judge others" yea, YOU SHOULD! dont hate on others when your farrrr worse.gosh i hate the girls here. hate hate hate! at least the guys have the common sense to not say anything negative.
There's this one girl that even went this far... she saw me & my bf one day. then at lunch..she just hella rudely pulled me away from my friend [leaving my friend just standing there] &start asking me all these personal questions about our relationship. You know wat she said? she's like, "but but he's not good looking. You know i think you would look better with this other guy. He sees you everyday when you walk to school & he's interested in you, he's my brother's friend and you guys should meet." I WANTED TO STRANGLE HER RITE THERE! her with her obnocious voice! who are you to judge my love life. i wish all these people would just FUCK OFF -_-
It gets so bad i swear. every move i make with my bf at school gets seen & past on to people. there is no privacy & we actually get stalked by these random losers -_-
i am sooo sick of this. GET OUT OF MY LIFE EVERYONE! i dont want you in it. FUCK YOU ALL!
Despite of all the times i complain about my bf, i still like him a lot. maybe it's not love, but you know what, it's enough to make me go crazy for him. it's enough to make my heart skip everytime i see him. & although i dont believe couples should be together every moment of the day, it's enough for me to miss him when he's not here. >>Oh & this does not contridict my quote from above, cuz my bf does make me happy...but you gotta think is it really worth all the other dissapointments you will have.
& our freezing cold lips touched on the empty sencond floor stairway, with a million and one things running thorugh my mind.
Then there was footsteps, and as quickly as it started, you pulled away.
you grabbed my hand & we just ran.
ran through the freezing courtyard
ran to where it was just y-o-u & m-e <3
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Just Another One
Im so fcking tired of everything. i hate how stupid china makes you stay in the same class for 3 years..everything gets so tiring. same people, same drama, & everyone is so fake. but wat else can they do? u r stuck wif these ppl for 3 years so u gotta still get along wif em even if u hate their guts. But i cant take it anymore! the fake friendships everywhere, it pisses me off!
FRIENDSHIP, wat is friendship?? it's a relationship someone you can lean on, someone who will always be there for you & someone you can tell all your secrets & problems to, have fun with, and laugh with. Here it's like, friends are for using,their frienships is worth nothing. But really, it's suppose to be PRICELESS.
& i guess being around the same people so much causes people to lose things to talk about. therefore, theres basically nothing to say anymore than to talk sht about each other. Jeez -_- wen will the stupid schools here realize people can't be with the same people for so long, it just causes problems.
Take for example..mariage. always so sweet in the beggining but how many actually stay problemless till the end. probably only like 0.0000000001% Because your around them too much! you figured out all their problems! & how many of us never had a fight with our parents? but its all NORMAL! because ur around them everyday some problems are bound to come up. But the difference is that parents have to love you but friends dont. &thats my theory for why all these shit start. But you know wat, wat can i do about it...just have to deal with it like everyone else :/
*sign..i wonder wen will the day i stop complaining about my life come. or will it ever come? i lost hope. i learned that w/o hope, there will be no dissapointment. There's this quote: " dont wait for the storm to past, learn to dance in the rain"
Lol, this is soo the storm in my life rite now...but im not doing anything ...yea i am just waiting for the storm to past i guess. stupid but there is nothing else i can do cept for wait anymore.
Gonna go study now, midterms coming up ;p i can be w/e about everything else but the least i can do is get good grades. The way i look at it..it's my only excape. so yea. i remember something my teacher said. if ur not smart, congradulations. if ur not, that means you just gotta make up for the brains by being more hardworking. so yea..i guess i needa be more hardworking :/
FRIENDSHIP, wat is friendship?? it's a relationship someone you can lean on, someone who will always be there for you & someone you can tell all your secrets & problems to, have fun with, and laugh with. Here it's like, friends are for using,their frienships is worth nothing. But really, it's suppose to be PRICELESS.
& i guess being around the same people so much causes people to lose things to talk about. therefore, theres basically nothing to say anymore than to talk sht about each other. Jeez -_- wen will the stupid schools here realize people can't be with the same people for so long, it just causes problems.
Take for example..mariage. always so sweet in the beggining but how many actually stay problemless till the end. probably only like 0.0000000001% Because your around them too much! you figured out all their problems! & how many of us never had a fight with our parents? but its all NORMAL! because ur around them everyday some problems are bound to come up. But the difference is that parents have to love you but friends dont. &thats my theory for why all these shit start. But you know wat, wat can i do about it...just have to deal with it like everyone else :/
*sign..i wonder wen will the day i stop complaining about my life come. or will it ever come? i lost hope. i learned that w/o hope, there will be no dissapointment. There's this quote: " dont wait for the storm to past, learn to dance in the rain"
Lol, this is soo the storm in my life rite now...but im not doing anything ...yea i am just waiting for the storm to past i guess. stupid but there is nothing else i can do cept for wait anymore.
Gonna go study now, midterms coming up ;p i can be w/e about everything else but the least i can do is get good grades. The way i look at it..it's my only excape. so yea. i remember something my teacher said. if ur not smart, congradulations. if ur not, that means you just gotta make up for the brains by being more hardworking. so yea..i guess i needa be more hardworking :/
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
I Hate That I Care So Much
So i finally came back to school after been absent for a few days cuz my my never ending fever. mhm. glad that i was able to catch up on everything...cept for physics. lol idk, physics is so hard yet i still love it [:
anyways, so i thought there was this tension going on btween be & my bf, but i guess im imagining? lol wen i came back today, lott ppl told me that he missed me like crazy, kept talking bout me, & couldnt really concentrate. aha, somehow i find it hard to believe he would care so much...cuz i just dont feel it.
either way. i dont think think this relationship is off to a happy ending. theres something missing...i think its cuz our relationship doesnt have friendship as a foundation to begin with. & That Really Important! i wanna find a guy who's my best friend & lover. but im not sure wat i really want rite now. i dont wanna break up wif him either cuz...well,i still feel for him..aha, i felt happier just looking at his face today (: mhm...so i guess ima let this relationship drag on for a few more weeks..but seriously, sometimes it just kills me inside...
anyways, so i thought there was this tension going on btween be & my bf, but i guess im imagining? lol wen i came back today, lott ppl told me that he missed me like crazy, kept talking bout me, & couldnt really concentrate. aha, somehow i find it hard to believe he would care so much...cuz i just dont feel it.
either way. i dont think think this relationship is off to a happy ending. theres something missing...i think its cuz our relationship doesnt have friendship as a foundation to begin with. & That Really Important! i wanna find a guy who's my best friend & lover. but im not sure wat i really want rite now. i dont wanna break up wif him either cuz...well,i still feel for him..aha, i felt happier just looking at his face today (: mhm...so i guess ima let this relationship drag on for a few more weeks..but seriously, sometimes it just kills me inside...
Monday, October 26, 2009
Sunday, October 25, 2009
IMY<3
After talking with my bff. she made me realize a lotta things. & as usual, she made me feel so much better about my life. i love her. i dont think i'll ever find anyone like her again. so sad ];
So wat she told me made me realize something. girls should not be so desperate to give away their "innocence" [not just talking about sex] and we shouldnt just get a bf for the sake of just having one. Lol but this girl is just a bit too innocent LOL. so like,three[or more?]dif guys have attempted to kiss her yet she resisted. aha those stories made me laugh so hard my throat hurted. LMAO.& millions more have attempted to get at her yet she only truely been wif one guy.[weird choice btw] thats some strong willpower, now lets see if she can resist this one ;D
aha but seriously, im happy for her. After 50 guys or so ;D she finally found a nice guy, altho a bit too nice. i hope things work out for em. [: but remember! Chicks before Dicks. so dont forget me ^-^ && HE MAY LOVE YOU BUT I'LL ALWAYS LOVE YOU MORE ;D
p.s i know ur saving that kiss for me. muahahahaha.
So wat she told me made me realize something. girls should not be so desperate to give away their "innocence" [not just talking about sex] and we shouldnt just get a bf for the sake of just having one. Lol but this girl is just a bit too innocent LOL. so like,three[or more?]dif guys have attempted to kiss her yet she resisted. aha those stories made me laugh so hard my throat hurted. LMAO.& millions more have attempted to get at her yet she only truely been wif one guy.[weird choice btw] thats some strong willpower, now lets see if she can resist this one ;D
aha but seriously, im happy for her. After 50 guys or so ;D she finally found a nice guy, altho a bit too nice. i hope things work out for em. [: but remember! Chicks before Dicks. so dont forget me ^-^ && HE MAY LOVE YOU BUT I'LL ALWAYS LOVE YOU MORE ;D
p.s i know ur saving that kiss for me. muahahahaha.
i wonder
"It's better to have loved than to never love at all "
is that true? i doubt it. it hurts more now than it would if i never met you.
but still. thanks for the memories?
aha idk where this is going..& if there is something going on, i want u to tell me now. cuz i dont wanna be one of those ppl to have those longgg neverending dragging relationships.
is that true? i doubt it. it hurts more now than it would if i never met you.
but still. thanks for the memories?
aha idk where this is going..& if there is something going on, i want u to tell me now. cuz i dont wanna be one of those ppl to have those longgg neverending dragging relationships.
IDK anymoe
"There are people in your life you learn to live with.
There are people in your life you can't live without
And there are people you know life wouldn't be the same without"
IMY SO MUCHH~~~~
Life hasn't been the same..
but i guess life goes on
There are people in your life you can't live without
And there are people you know life wouldn't be the same without"
IMY SO MUCHH~~~~
Life hasn't been the same..
but i guess life goes on
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Shocker?
SO LIKE HE'S NOT A VIRGIN??! OMG I KNEW IT! i COULD SO TELL! OMG I HAVE A GAY-DAR BUT NOW I HAVE A NON-VIRGIINDAR TOO?? omg omg omg..& i use to like him ;p [B.B.B] <-- remember him? anyways..yea. i swear, his ex look so innocent too, i guess it is true..the ppl who look the most innocent do the most unbelieveble things. BUT CANT BELIEVE SHE ADMITTED ITT! LIK DAMN! & NO CONDOM CUZ HE SAID HE DIDNT ***** aiyaa
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Okay..on to my day..mhm idk really wat to think anymore..so like there's this girl rite? & i cant believe it..we actually have STUFF to talk about,that is like amazing considering my situation. & now i feel so much lighter? lighter, get wat i mean, cuz now i can actually can say my TRUE feelings out. but idk...D.B i think she reminds me of u. u guys r all so CUTE! aha..but yea..i feel lik i shouldnt get too close to her. the reason i dont get into all the stupidass drama here is cuz i dont get too close to these ppl. Here ppl r liek this. They become BFF soooo fast..like in 2 days time the fastest. but their frienships end all of a sudden too. & this girl? how should i say this. she pretty much starts a lotta shit...mhm..idk wat im saying no more. plus ever since i started hanging out wif her. hella ppl's been warning me to stay away from her cuz she's in that "crowd". wtf, so apparently thats no good? BUT SERIOUSLY, SHE SO CUTE, OMG IM GOING LEZ -_-
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
mhm...i read wat i just wrote & i sound so stupidd! but oh wells.
----->RANDOOOMMMM BLABING:
*i think i partially converted two guys to Christianity. LMAOO. so one is my bf, & after all our discussions about some deep sht like God, he started going to Church. & the other one is my friend...who i think still kinda like me o_o[ its a girl feeling] He saw wat my bf did & he started reading these bible sht & GET THIS. he actually got this hugeass cross necklace & started wearing it everyday now...i hate to admit this but he look so much hotter now..yea im a sucker for guys wif jewery. BUT HERES THE THING..i dont think either of them really believe..my bf goes to church but i think thats cuz he's bored. & my friend is reading all these bible stuff yet he keeps dissing it.. so wtf? i guess i didnt do such a good preaching job huh ;p
*cough, so after hearing some stories bout other couples today, i dont feel so slutty no more,aha but w/e, i suppose it is normal..i mean we r teenagers with all these hormons..so yea. but know wen to draw the line ;d
*i feel like all my makeup is going to waste since i dont even wear em no more. so sad..& i use to be so addicted. Lol
*my legs is soo sore again. AHA should see how i walk now, i cant freaking bent my legs. i look like a robot. lololol i want my bf to carry me;D aha but i swear..he so skinny im afraid i'll break him:/
*im self conscious! i dont want guys to think im fat.. even tho im positive im not fat, but guy's perception of fat may be different than girls
*its getting so coldd. im freezing ]: one more month & it'll probably start snowing again. yay?
*ASIAN GUYSSS R SICKKKKK! THE DETAILS OF WAT HAPPENED IN MY CLASSROOM TODAY RITE NEXT TO ME IS TOO EXPLICITE TO MENTION IN THIS BLOG. I AM FOREVER GROSSED OUT
*i think i partially converted two guys to Christianity. LMAOO. so one is my bf, & after all our discussions about some deep sht like God, he started going to Church. & the other one is my friend...who i think still kinda like me o_o[ its a girl feeling] He saw wat my bf did & he started reading these bible sht & GET THIS. he actually got this hugeass cross necklace & started wearing it everyday now...i hate to admit this but he look so much hotter now..yea im a sucker for guys wif jewery. BUT HERES THE THING..i dont think either of them really believe..my bf goes to church but i think thats cuz he's bored. & my friend is reading all these bible stuff yet he keeps dissing it.. so wtf? i guess i didnt do such a good preaching job huh ;p
*cough, so after hearing some stories bout other couples today, i dont feel so slutty no more,aha but w/e, i suppose it is normal..i mean we r teenagers with all these hormons..so yea. but know wen to draw the line ;d
*i feel like all my makeup is going to waste since i dont even wear em no more. so sad..& i use to be so addicted. Lol
*my legs is soo sore again. AHA should see how i walk now, i cant freaking bent my legs. i look like a robot. lololol i want my bf to carry me;D aha but i swear..he so skinny im afraid i'll break him:/
*im self conscious! i dont want guys to think im fat.. even tho im positive im not fat, but guy's perception of fat may be different than girls
*its getting so coldd. im freezing ]: one more month & it'll probably start snowing again. yay?
*ASIAN GUYSSS R SICKKKKK! THE DETAILS OF WAT HAPPENED IN MY CLASSROOM TODAY RITE NEXT TO ME IS TOO EXPLICITE TO MENTION IN THIS BLOG. I AM FOREVER GROSSED OUT
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Anonymous Letters
*hehe i say they're anonymous but some will probably figure & some will never read this. so anyways dont ask me questions on this, cuz i wont tell...hehe yes im mysterious ;D
Dear,________
Honestly, i dont know wat to think of you now. long time ago, i actually had a little feelings for u but gradually we became friends. we had a lot of em heart to heart talks..& i really liked u cuz i though u could understand me. but now..idk..ever since school started...why do u feel so distant. Are u just nice to me becuz u liek me? i know its not that becuz well now...ur still as nice as u were before.& ur so sweet...wat u said to me on my birthday..i will never forget,it was just wat i needed to hear, ur words meant a lot to me. but sometimes..u just come off as arrogant. & it pisses me off. like wat is it wif u? plus always making those little comments about him..dont u think that would hurt me?? all those remarks...r u doing it on purpose to break us up or something? i didnt think u were like that..now i dont know anymore..
Sincerely,
Me
Dear,______
I hella miss you too. i remember all the good time we had back then..but now they r all just memories. I dont know about you but i know i will NEVER forget those happy memories wif u. i will store them in the safest part of my brain. we been through so much together..u accepted me back wen i was my dorky stupid self..& u dealt wif so many years of my stupid problems. Even tho we r so different, i think u are the one person that understands me the most. U helped me get through so much & gave the BEST advice & Even tho ur not here..dont worry our friendship would last forever, no matter where we r. U were my bestfriend, my sister,the peanut butter to my jelly& u always will be.oh god, ima end this letter before i get really sad again..
Sincerely,
Me
Dear, _______
Wow i hope u know that life's been really different without you..idk, i guess u never know wat u got till its gone huh? i think i took all those days with you for granted..never knew it was gonna all end one day..i seriously miss our talks about anything & everything. we've known each other for soo long & practically grew up together..hehe from retards to emos. from enemies to best friends, & we had so many unexplainable moments. When im with you, i can totally be myself& do watever i want. Seriously! ur the one person tat knows almost all of my secrets. its like there r no walls between us. Its really weird, i dont get y we use to hate each other so much before..i know i use to really mean to u & i still cant believe u put up wif that. But u know wat, it just goes to prove how strong our friendship since we made it this far. I really appreciate u listening to my endless blabing & blasting my phone bill ;D I know u r not feeling ur best rite now..& im sorry im not there to be emo wif u.. & i noticed u have really changed ever since high school..idk whether this change is a good thing or bad thing but i can honestly say i will accept u & love u no matter wat.. But i just want u to know. "always stay true to urself, be above the influence,BE WHO U R" okay i sound so lame but w/e..
Sincerely,
Me
Dear,_______
Even tho we dont talk no more..i just wanted to say Thank You. thank you for helping clear my head during those choaic weeks & telling me how to deal wif it all. Even tho we only knew each other for a short period of time. i felt so free wen im wif u. Even tho u teased me & cracked retarded jokes, i knew that u still cared. i will never forget all our deep talks...& how u gave me a new perspective on life..i know now u moved on...But still...thank you for once making me smile,thank you for caring (:
Sincerely,
Me
Dear,_________
Im so confused right now..idk where u stand in my heart atm. i dont blame you, i blame myself...& i feel so bad cuz its just like im using u to make myself feel better. im a ass.i admit it. u were so good to me..being so nice & being one of the first ppl here to actually try to get to know me for ME. not just some outsider freak. during the past few weeks..i knew there were a lotta times i made u angry & hurt ur self respect. im sorry. i guess im just really emotional. yet u always forgave me..& put up wif me for my crazy self. u listened to me wen i was sad..helped me dry my tears..& loved me for me. but as each day passes..we see each other less & less. i guess thats unavoidable...but at times..i feel like i cant really depend on u. ur always so unavailiable . & sometimes i feel like an intruder. its really hard for me rite now cuz i dont know wat to think of u. are u really just one of "those" guys or r u someone who will change my life? idk. sometimes loving you gets really tiring & a lot of times..its disapoints me.
Sincerely,
Me
Dear,________
ur a bitch, ur hot & ur cold. Ur only nice wen u need a favor,U R SO FAKE. FUCK U! i actually think im being too nice to ppl like u. u never did anything sorry to me but i just really cant stand those close-minded, stuckup, loud ppl like u who thinks ur all that, & talk sht about other ppl like ur so much better. ur presense makes me sick. Go to Hell. Earth dont need ppl like you.
Sincerely,
Me
Dear,________
You are one of the most important persons in my life..EVER. yet i feel lik i dont appreciate you enough. im sorry im so bitchy sometimes. but u've been putting up wif me thorughout all those years. i love youu! ur the best anyone could ever ask for. ur always thinking about others & putting urself last. ur so caring & u always try to be as understanding as u can. You Are My Inspiration, your my hero. ILY<3
Sincerely,
Me
Dear,________
Honestly, i dont know wat to think of you now. long time ago, i actually had a little feelings for u but gradually we became friends. we had a lot of em heart to heart talks..& i really liked u cuz i though u could understand me. but now..idk..ever since school started...why do u feel so distant. Are u just nice to me becuz u liek me? i know its not that becuz well now...ur still as nice as u were before.& ur so sweet...wat u said to me on my birthday..i will never forget,it was just wat i needed to hear, ur words meant a lot to me. but sometimes..u just come off as arrogant. & it pisses me off. like wat is it wif u? plus always making those little comments about him..dont u think that would hurt me?? all those remarks...r u doing it on purpose to break us up or something? i didnt think u were like that..now i dont know anymore..
Sincerely,
Me
Dear,______
I hella miss you too. i remember all the good time we had back then..but now they r all just memories. I dont know about you but i know i will NEVER forget those happy memories wif u. i will store them in the safest part of my brain. we been through so much together..u accepted me back wen i was my dorky stupid self..& u dealt wif so many years of my stupid problems. Even tho we r so different, i think u are the one person that understands me the most. U helped me get through so much & gave the BEST advice & Even tho ur not here..dont worry our friendship would last forever, no matter where we r. U were my bestfriend, my sister,the peanut butter to my jelly& u always will be.oh god, ima end this letter before i get really sad again..
Sincerely,
Me
Dear, _______
Wow i hope u know that life's been really different without you..idk, i guess u never know wat u got till its gone huh? i think i took all those days with you for granted..never knew it was gonna all end one day..i seriously miss our talks about anything & everything. we've known each other for soo long & practically grew up together..hehe from retards to emos. from enemies to best friends, & we had so many unexplainable moments. When im with you, i can totally be myself& do watever i want. Seriously! ur the one person tat knows almost all of my secrets. its like there r no walls between us. Its really weird, i dont get y we use to hate each other so much before..i know i use to really mean to u & i still cant believe u put up wif that. But u know wat, it just goes to prove how strong our friendship since we made it this far. I really appreciate u listening to my endless blabing & blasting my phone bill ;D I know u r not feeling ur best rite now..& im sorry im not there to be emo wif u.. & i noticed u have really changed ever since high school..idk whether this change is a good thing or bad thing but i can honestly say i will accept u & love u no matter wat.. But i just want u to know. "always stay true to urself, be above the influence,BE WHO U R" okay i sound so lame but w/e..
Sincerely,
Me
Dear,_______
Even tho we dont talk no more..i just wanted to say Thank You. thank you for helping clear my head during those choaic weeks & telling me how to deal wif it all. Even tho we only knew each other for a short period of time. i felt so free wen im wif u. Even tho u teased me & cracked retarded jokes, i knew that u still cared. i will never forget all our deep talks...& how u gave me a new perspective on life..i know now u moved on...But still...thank you for once making me smile,thank you for caring (:
Sincerely,
Me
Dear,_________
Im so confused right now..idk where u stand in my heart atm. i dont blame you, i blame myself...& i feel so bad cuz its just like im using u to make myself feel better. im a ass.i admit it. u were so good to me..being so nice & being one of the first ppl here to actually try to get to know me for ME. not just some outsider freak. during the past few weeks..i knew there were a lotta times i made u angry & hurt ur self respect. im sorry. i guess im just really emotional. yet u always forgave me..& put up wif me for my crazy self. u listened to me wen i was sad..helped me dry my tears..& loved me for me. but as each day passes..we see each other less & less. i guess thats unavoidable...but at times..i feel like i cant really depend on u. ur always so unavailiable . & sometimes i feel like an intruder. its really hard for me rite now cuz i dont know wat to think of u. are u really just one of "those" guys or r u someone who will change my life? idk. sometimes loving you gets really tiring & a lot of times..its disapoints me.
Sincerely,
Me
Dear,________
ur a bitch, ur hot & ur cold. Ur only nice wen u need a favor,U R SO FAKE. FUCK U! i actually think im being too nice to ppl like u. u never did anything sorry to me but i just really cant stand those close-minded, stuckup, loud ppl like u who thinks ur all that, & talk sht about other ppl like ur so much better. ur presense makes me sick. Go to Hell. Earth dont need ppl like you.
Sincerely,
Me
Dear,________
You are one of the most important persons in my life..EVER. yet i feel lik i dont appreciate you enough. im sorry im so bitchy sometimes. but u've been putting up wif me thorughout all those years. i love youu! ur the best anyone could ever ask for. ur always thinking about others & putting urself last. ur so caring & u always try to be as understanding as u can. You Are My Inspiration, your my hero. ILY<3
Sincerely,
Me
SHA`LA`LA`
I have a new craze now.. I LOVE FEI ZHU LIU GUYSS! sht, they r everything i've ever wanted in another guy. ~~physically that is.
aha. what to i want in a guy tho. OMG,*flashback i remember a long time ago in church our teachers told us to make a list of qualities we want in a guy, then later..when we get a serious bf, we go look at that list & see how many is checked off. DUDE! WX, u rememeber that dont u?? lol let me make that list now ^-^
INNER CHARACTERITICS:
1. nice but not TOO nice
2. laid back but gets serious wen certain situations calls for it
3. i know all guys r pervs& i accept tat, but dont OVERDO IT!
4. charming & funny
5. knows how to get past akward moments
6. able to take my stress away
7. fun to be with
8. not afraid to cry or be themsleves
9. STRAIGHWARD! i cannot stress this enough
10.the ones who dont diss other ppl's beliefs to make themselves look "cool"
11.thinks about other ppl's feelings
12.NOT BORING.
13.NOT STUCKUP
14.u can brag, but seriously..some things should just be kept a secret
PHYSICAL CHARACTERIICS:
1. cannot weight less than me
2. tall & skinny [;
3. THE EYESSS! hypnotizing eyes.
4. STYLE STYLE STYLE !
5. the hair. preferebly hair gel
6. VOICEE! [ is tis even a physical trait?]
7. asian.. lol im not racist, i just prefer asians &among asians, i prefer Koreans[<---BUT TATS JUST PHYSICALLY!]
8. muscles ^-^ *drools
9. got that"cool" feeling... idk how to describe it, but this feeling just makes me wanna jump on those guys. aha[is this even physical either?]
10.piercings r sexy, so is any type of jewery
~~ hehe thats all..i think.. i will add more wen i think of it [:
aha. what to i want in a guy tho. OMG,*flashback i remember a long time ago in church our teachers told us to make a list of qualities we want in a guy, then later..when we get a serious bf, we go look at that list & see how many is checked off. DUDE! WX, u rememeber that dont u?? lol let me make that list now ^-^
INNER CHARACTERITICS:
1. nice but not TOO nice
2. laid back but gets serious wen certain situations calls for it
3. i know all guys r pervs& i accept tat, but dont OVERDO IT!
4. charming & funny
5. knows how to get past akward moments
6. able to take my stress away
7. fun to be with
8. not afraid to cry or be themsleves
9. STRAIGHWARD! i cannot stress this enough
10.the ones who dont diss other ppl's beliefs to make themselves look "cool"
11.thinks about other ppl's feelings
12.NOT BORING.
13.NOT STUCKUP
14.u can brag, but seriously..some things should just be kept a secret
PHYSICAL CHARACTERIICS:
1. cannot weight less than me
2. tall & skinny [;
3. THE EYESSS! hypnotizing eyes.
4. STYLE STYLE STYLE !
5. the hair. preferebly hair gel
6. VOICEE! [ is tis even a physical trait?]
7. asian.. lol im not racist, i just prefer asians &among asians, i prefer Koreans[<---BUT TATS JUST PHYSICALLY!]
8. muscles ^-^ *drools
9. got that"cool" feeling... idk how to describe it, but this feeling just makes me wanna jump on those guys. aha[is this even physical either?]
10.piercings r sexy, so is any type of jewery
~~ hehe thats all..i think.. i will add more wen i think of it [:
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Bad Day
soo, today was not the best of my days ;p it was one of those days where NOBODY could cheer me up. i woke up feeling like crap & u know wat. today was crappy. i feel so lonely here..its one of the most painful type of loneliness ever. the type where u feel lonely even wif ppl wif u. i hate it. i feel so alone. nobody understands me & nobody will.. i think i actually wanna be a loner now. i ditched class today just so i can go out & sit in a nice quiet place alone wif my thoughts. THAT IS SOO EMO. I SWEAR. if it was before, i would NEVER ditch class by my self. but now..i actually "enjoy" being alone.. but the only reason i dont wanna be alone is cuz... WELL HELL! that makes me look pathetic ;p i cant describe it but im sure u all know wat i mean. nobody wants to be seen alone even if some of us would rather be.
recently..i've been distancing myself from everyone i know. i can honestly say that im a really bad friend & gf & daughter rite now. sometimes wen im walking with "friends" [[i really dont wanna call em my friends but cant think of any other word]] i get so lost in my own thoughts that i dont even notice em trailing 10 ft behind me tryna catch up,plus i barely listen wen they blab about their life[[also cuz i think wat they talk about is kinda boring]]Im a bad daughter becuz everyday wen i come home, i bring a crouchy face & a bad attitude wif me. i feel bad for my parens who have to deal wif my constant PMS-ing. and as for being a bad gf...i dont even call him or creat oppertunities to see him at school no more.. plus we dont take walks every night anymore, but thats cuz of my parents....today was the first time we hung out outside of school since like forever... it was afterschool & he saw me walking towards the back door in the 3rd floor windows & he hella ran down to meet me.he so sweet. oh another reason im a bad gf, i dont even wait for him afterschool.he deserves better. *sign. in conclusion. i suck. life sucks.the end~
recently..i've been distancing myself from everyone i know. i can honestly say that im a really bad friend & gf & daughter rite now. sometimes wen im walking with "friends" [[i really dont wanna call em my friends but cant think of any other word]] i get so lost in my own thoughts that i dont even notice em trailing 10 ft behind me tryna catch up,plus i barely listen wen they blab about their life[[also cuz i think wat they talk about is kinda boring]]Im a bad daughter becuz everyday wen i come home, i bring a crouchy face & a bad attitude wif me. i feel bad for my parens who have to deal wif my constant PMS-ing. and as for being a bad gf...i dont even call him or creat oppertunities to see him at school no more.. plus we dont take walks every night anymore, but thats cuz of my parents....today was the first time we hung out outside of school since like forever... it was afterschool & he saw me walking towards the back door in the 3rd floor windows & he hella ran down to meet me.he so sweet. oh another reason im a bad gf, i dont even wait for him afterschool.he deserves better. *sign. in conclusion. i suck. life sucks.the end~
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Blah
mann, so this is what i get for running so fast yesterday. my left leg is so sore now that i can barely walk ;p ugh. hehe so today's gym class caused another big commotion. swear they r overdoing it. i was just minding my own business talking to the korean dude in my class before gym started. then i saw these bunches of guys call staring at us. -___- then they got my bf to look too. i can just imagine wat they're saying. "omg look, ur gf is talking to him. ooooooo. better do something" SOOO GAYYYYYYYYYY~! i feel like i cant even talk to other guys nowadays anymore cuz everytime i do, somebody always gotta go up to us & comment about it. like "oh, y u be tryna seduce other guys, isnt one enough" I HATE IT! u know, not everyone one of my guy friends like me okay! so get the fck over it & mind ur own business!!! UGH. okay im done ranting. back to homework
oh but one more thing, i think "most" guys here r so much better than the girls. forreals, less sht talking, less drama, less attitude, & less bitchier. plus they r so much nicer, & easier to talk to. blehh. im weird huh. but i aint kidding. GIRLS HERE ARE BITCHES WHO ALWAYS BE BACKSTABBING & TALKING SHT AMONG THEMSELVES, AS IN AMONG THEIR OWN FRIENDS TOO. one thing i learned, there r barely any "friends forever" here, well for girls anyways. Lol guys r hella tight like bros ^-^
okay, done blabing. & i miss my bf.. ever since "that night" wif my parents & all...i barely get to be wif him at all,plus now i got no cell phone...its been 5 days since we been alone together. i only see him occationaly in between classes & lunch. ]; *sign. okay ima finnish hw now. it'd help me get my mind offa him...i think
oh but one more thing, i think "most" guys here r so much better than the girls. forreals, less sht talking, less drama, less attitude, & less bitchier. plus they r so much nicer, & easier to talk to. blehh. im weird huh. but i aint kidding. GIRLS HERE ARE BITCHES WHO ALWAYS BE BACKSTABBING & TALKING SHT AMONG THEMSELVES, AS IN AMONG THEIR OWN FRIENDS TOO. one thing i learned, there r barely any "friends forever" here, well for girls anyways. Lol guys r hella tight like bros ^-^
okay, done blabing. & i miss my bf.. ever since "that night" wif my parents & all...i barely get to be wif him at all,plus now i got no cell phone...its been 5 days since we been alone together. i only see him occationaly in between classes & lunch. ]; *sign. okay ima finnish hw now. it'd help me get my mind offa him...i think
Monday, October 12, 2009
Random Thought [;
let me ask you guys this question, have u guys ever had a paparazzi, OMG, i had my first experience today. & all i gotta say is..i feel sooooo sorry for those celebreties. damn the sht & annoyance they gotta go through.
so like today, i was out to lunch wif bf, then like suddenly, these HELLA annoying guys in my class saw us. i swear, they actually started following us even tho we was like fck off. then they pulled more ppl to watch us. & they actually started tryna take pics. i swear! i wanna slap those bitches rite there. like GET A LIFE! damn, so all lunch, we had to avoid "those" ppl & hide eveytime we think someone we know sees us -_- ugh... i dont think i even wanna go eat lunch wif him no more. like damn..the attention we get is like wayyy overdramatic. it shouldnt be like this. hate them immature dumbasses. plus wats the big deal. GOSH! its not like they never dated before, y act so annoying wen other ppl r dating. i guess i will never understand immature china ppl.
P.S 10/10/09 was our three months, yay? idk anymore, i think i just want a bf now just so i have someone to lean on. but lately.. im starting to realize that me & him r like from two different worlds.. opposites attract?idk,u tell me .
P.P.S but its not just him that i think is from different world than me...im starting to think everyone is now.. except....hehe well im not gonna say. that would make me sound too "hua xin" <-- hehe u figure it out.
so like today, i was out to lunch wif bf, then like suddenly, these HELLA annoying guys in my class saw us. i swear, they actually started following us even tho we was like fck off. then they pulled more ppl to watch us. & they actually started tryna take pics. i swear! i wanna slap those bitches rite there. like GET A LIFE! damn, so all lunch, we had to avoid "those" ppl & hide eveytime we think someone we know sees us -_- ugh... i dont think i even wanna go eat lunch wif him no more. like damn..the attention we get is like wayyy overdramatic. it shouldnt be like this. hate them immature dumbasses. plus wats the big deal. GOSH! its not like they never dated before, y act so annoying wen other ppl r dating. i guess i will never understand immature china ppl.
P.S 10/10/09 was our three months, yay? idk anymore, i think i just want a bf now just so i have someone to lean on. but lately.. im starting to realize that me & him r like from two different worlds.. opposites attract?idk,u tell me .
P.P.S but its not just him that i think is from different world than me...im starting to think everyone is now.. except....hehe well im not gonna say. that would make me sound too "hua xin" <-- hehe u figure it out.
STUPID PROXY
*cough, yes i have encountered yet another problem here i cant post comments or follow ppl here either -_- SERIOUSLY> FCK THOSE INTERNET BLOCKING LAWS HERE. Stupid assholes in the governement dont allow freedom of speech. UGH. but i think the worst of it all is tat theres no more youtube. ]: *wahhh* i dont get to watch SHIMMY no moreee. i miss his sexiness D; PLUS! just recently, they even blocked wikipedia. WHO THE FCK DOES THAT. omg...
ugh. okay..got over my anger now.. so let me tell you about my dayy ^-^ umm okay. imagine running half a mile with a hundred or so boys all fcking staring! INCLUDING UR BF! ughh... so humiliating considering how i run like a spagetti & look like crap. damn, wen i ran past the guys everyone was telling him to look.. ;p eventually everyone ended up looking. yea..lotta commotion cuz they r so immature. did i mention in china, they separate guys & girls in PE. hehe we have it so much easier.
another thing..did i mention how im so athletic here. omg i actually came in first today. YES ME, the lazybum in PE back there. so either i have gotten super fast or the girls here r soooo slow. hehe but today im happy. today after i ran, for the first time, nobody said i looked lik a noodle & everyone kept complimenting me about how fast i was today. hehe maybe cuz my emoness made me run fast? aha YEA! so people! next time in GYM wen i wanna run hella fast, get really emo before that ;D
ugh. okay..got over my anger now.. so let me tell you about my dayy ^-^ umm okay. imagine running half a mile with a hundred or so boys all fcking staring! INCLUDING UR BF! ughh... so humiliating considering how i run like a spagetti & look like crap. damn, wen i ran past the guys everyone was telling him to look.. ;p eventually everyone ended up looking. yea..lotta commotion cuz they r so immature. did i mention in china, they separate guys & girls in PE. hehe we have it so much easier.
another thing..did i mention how im so athletic here. omg i actually came in first today. YES ME, the lazybum in PE back there. so either i have gotten super fast or the girls here r soooo slow. hehe but today im happy. today after i ran, for the first time, nobody said i looked lik a noodle & everyone kept complimenting me about how fast i was today. hehe maybe cuz my emoness made me run fast? aha YEA! so people! next time in GYM wen i wanna run hella fast, get really emo before that ;D
Sunday, October 11, 2009
HW HW HW
*signnn...i think that i was thinking too much that i got a headache from thinking. so BREAK TIME <33 LOL yea. i feel so pathetic man. cuz like physics hw was so hard.i ended up wasting half an hour tryna search the hw answers online. blahh. no luck however. rawr.
yet here i am wasting time wen i should be studying. UGH! i keep tryna be determined to get my grades up. cuz rite now im just like so-so[[but big improvement considering how much my chinese sucked before]] now i wanna like get my grades super high. why? cuz i wanna get outta this fcking school and move on, thats why. but but...too bad i get lazy at times..its weird, once lazyness hits u , its hard to get urself back up
OH & for those people that call me a nerd for tryna get good grades.FUCK YOU. i mean just becuz im trya get myself a better education & have a better life later on, im a nerd? u people obviously dont get the importance of education. im not saying that u should spend every min of ur life studying[[like so ppl here, classes & tutors on weekends man]], but at least get urself together. then again, i guess some ppl enjoy the fact that they're gonna be hobos or criminals later on huh?
ugh, okays, ima go concentrate on my work now~~~~~~~
yet here i am wasting time wen i should be studying. UGH! i keep tryna be determined to get my grades up. cuz rite now im just like so-so[[but big improvement considering how much my chinese sucked before]] now i wanna like get my grades super high. why? cuz i wanna get outta this fcking school and move on, thats why. but but...too bad i get lazy at times..its weird, once lazyness hits u , its hard to get urself back up
OH & for those people that call me a nerd for tryna get good grades.FUCK YOU. i mean just becuz im trya get myself a better education & have a better life later on, im a nerd? u people obviously dont get the importance of education. im not saying that u should spend every min of ur life studying[[like so ppl here, classes & tutors on weekends man]], but at least get urself together. then again, i guess some ppl enjoy the fact that they're gonna be hobos or criminals later on huh?
ugh, okays, ima go concentrate on my work now~~~~~~~
Pissed ..
WHY IS MY COMPUTER SO WEIRD!! it wont fcking let me edit my texts or post pics here. I cant use the freaking compose mood. & i cant follow people's blogs. ]:so yea..everything looks so gay :p hehe SRY, well it dont really matter cuz i dont think anyone would be bored enought to read... CEPT FOR MY LOSER <3 [: hehe, u know who u r xD
its so foggy outside; ugh..just the kinda weather to get me depressed & sht ]: not that im not already..gosh i wish my mood wouldnt be so much like rollercoaster, like seriously! one min i so high above then the next im crashing & falling... sometimes i wish i was never happy in the first place..it would save me the dissapointments rite? *sign but the i would lose all the memories. but then again..i get sad wen i think back to those happy memories,so i kinda wish i never had em. but i was happy wen i had em. Okay wtf, i dont make sense.
*sign, im tiredd; post more later. love ya <3
its so foggy outside; ugh..just the kinda weather to get me depressed & sht ]: not that im not already..gosh i wish my mood wouldnt be so much like rollercoaster, like seriously! one min i so high above then the next im crashing & falling... sometimes i wish i was never happy in the first place..it would save me the dissapointments rite? *sign but the i would lose all the memories. but then again..i get sad wen i think back to those happy memories,so i kinda wish i never had em. but i was happy wen i had em. Okay wtf, i dont make sense.
*sign, im tiredd; post more later. love ya <3
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