I Hate That I Care So Much

So i finally came back to school after been absent for a few days cuz my my never ending fever. mhm. glad that i was able to catch up on everything...cept for physics. lol idk, physics is so hard yet i still love it [:

anyways, so i thought there was this tension going on btween be & my bf, but i guess im imagining? lol wen i came back today, lott ppl told me that he missed me like crazy, kept talking bout me, & couldnt really concentrate. aha, somehow i find it hard to believe he would care so much...cuz i just dont feel it.

either way. i dont think think this relationship is off to a happy ending. theres something missing...i think its cuz our relationship doesnt have friendship as a foundation to begin with. & That Really Important! i wanna find a guy who's my best friend & lover. but im not sure wat i really want rite now. i dont wanna break up wif him either cuz...well,i still feel for him..aha, i felt happier just looking at his face today (: mhm...so i guess ima let this relationship drag on for a few more weeks..but seriously, sometimes it just kills me inside...