soo, today was not the best of my days ;p it was one of those days where NOBODY could cheer me up. i woke up feeling like crap & u know wat. today was crappy. i feel so lonely here..its one of the most painful type of loneliness ever. the type where u feel lonely even wif ppl wif u. i hate it. i feel so alone. nobody understands me & nobody will.. i think i actually wanna be a loner now. i ditched class today just so i can go out & sit in a nice quiet place alone wif my thoughts. THAT IS SOO EMO. I SWEAR. if it was before, i would NEVER ditch class by my self. but now..i actually "enjoy" being alone.. but the only reason i dont wanna be alone is cuz... WELL HELL! that makes me look pathetic ;p i cant describe it but im sure u all know wat i mean. nobody wants to be seen alone even if some of us would rather be.
recently..i've been distancing myself from everyone i know. i can honestly say that im a really bad friend & gf & daughter rite now. sometimes wen im walking with "friends" [[i really dont wanna call em my friends but cant think of any other word]] i get so lost in my own thoughts that i dont even notice em trailing 10 ft behind me tryna catch up,plus i barely listen wen they blab about their life[[also cuz i think wat they talk about is kinda boring]]Im a bad daughter becuz everyday wen i come home, i bring a crouchy face & a bad attitude wif me. i feel bad for my parens who have to deal wif my constant PMS-ing. and as for being a bad gf...i dont even call him or creat oppertunities to see him at school no more.. plus we dont take walks every night anymore, but thats cuz of my parents....today was the first time we hung out outside of school since like forever... it was afterschool & he saw me walking towards the back door in the 3rd floor windows & he hella ran down to meet me.he so sweet. oh another reason im a bad gf, i dont even wait for him afterschool.he deserves better. *sign. in conclusion. i suck. life sucks.the end~
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