aiyaa :/

havn't been posting lately ;p hehe got lazy & too much shiet going on.
sooo um updates go into three sections .
family life, love life, and social life.
social life & family life is pretty chill....for now.
love life....
grrs, where should i start. man, just thinking makes me pissed..
idk..dont really wanna even think about him rite now but for updates sake
so heres wat happened yesterday.
after school, i decided to surprise him by waiting for him for once..his class always lets out hellaaa late so yea. plus we havn't spend time together for about 4 days now & we dont get much chances in school...& i missed him. HELLA
why cant u see that?

so i was just standing there wif my friend who was also waiting for her bf. we were just talking ...then after standing around for thirty or so minutes, his class finally let out. then we just asked this dude to tell him to come out. after he came out i was like ready to go? & he's like, its my groups turn to clean the classroom. i was like its okay, i'll wait [ tat shiet usually takes no more than 5 to 10 min anyways] he's like alrite, then he took this cloth to the bathroom to wet it, this is wen i started to get pissed, cuz he was doing this slowww lazy walk tat he thinks is sooo cool or something.
btw, it was already hella dark at that time. felt like night already.
anywayss...another 10 min past & i finally saw his ass walk back into the classroom to clean, & im like okay, this souldnt take long.
another 10~15min past. STILL DIDNT COME OUT! thats wen my friend's bf came down, so yea. they waited w/ me for a while but had to leave cuz her bf had swim practice & it was getting helllaaa dark.
SO IM WAITING BY MYSELF FOR WHAT FEELS LIKE ETERNITY! he still dont fucking come out & i felt like i was freezing my ass off. plus everyone in my classroom left & the hallway turned hella dark. so i walk over to his classroom door. omg! this is the most frustrating part, there he was SNAIL LIKE MOVEMENT wiping the blackboard. WTF??! dont u know to hurry up wen ur gf is waiting for u outside?? what am i to you?? & the worst part, hella ppl felt sorry for me for standing out there for so long. i hate it wen ppl pity me..

Thats wen i finally said fck it. & just walked home by myself in the cold dark winter with my sore legs [ thats from running 800 m ] SHIT ! i felt hella pissed, so pissed i almost cried. AT THAT MOMENT. I HELLA WANTED TO BREAK DOWN! some of you mite say im such a fcking drama queen or watever. but gosh, no guy should make a girl wait that long. & this aint the first time.


i felt like nothing, like dirt, what am i to him? i seriously do not deserve to be treated like this. i felt wats the word...um unappreciated. FUCK! & i was still hella pissed this morning but wen i told my friend[ the one from yesterday] she was like aww u should be that pissed, if i were u i would just go up to him & hit him call him a butthead or something -_- okay yea. but im not her.
& u know wat, her & her bf make me hella jelouse. they r so cute! & they been together for over a year now so they r basically hella comfortable w/ each other. he would dicth school wen she's sick & go by her house to cook for her. THAT IS SOOO CUTEE ! makes me hella jelouse as fck. grr ...


soo today...he comes up to me like nothing happens & just puts his arm around me. thank god there was a bathroom next to me. i said i had to go in & just shrugged him off. he so stupid. i swear, he did not notice anything wrong. he did not notice that i havn't been making eye contact w/ him all day. what an ass.
but yea..i cant believe im still upset over this.
idk..it just hurts. like needles through my heart.
in conclusion..i still feel like shit
thank you for tearing my heart up in pieces & not even realizing u did it.
~THANKS A LOT ASSHOLE~
but then again, i guess im a dumbass for falling for assholes.
idk how to face him tommorrow..i guess im just gonna have to force myself to smile