Today, i've had that feeling again. that feeling where u feel like u don't belong, ur not good enough, ur so lonely that u just wanna dig a hole in the ground and hide urself. I guess u can say it's pms. actually, throughout the day i was fine. i was in a pissy mood and bickered with helluh people. It was when i came home that i started to feel the emoness.
During all those fights that he had, to all the hurtful things he said to me, about how much i've changed, everytime, i would get mad, but wouldnt have a comeback. It made me think, maybe he's right. I have changed, but i thought it was for the better. Im getting along with more ppl..."getting along" thats the most i can say for myself. But why? is it really cuz i changed into something i would never imagine myself to be?
i feel like im losing everyone around me..the people i actually care about, and getting closer with the ppl that i dont. It makes me mad, cuz no matter how close i may appear with someone here, i wont ever truely care for them as much as i would with my real friends, him included.
I havnt been talking to some friends for helluh long. since school started, i dont even have anytime to go on aim and chat like before. I feel so stressed ];
Life is a mess and everything is upside down. I shouldn't be talking to these ppl more than my bffs, we shouldn't be fighting all the time, school shouldn't be this stressful,i shouldn't be losing myself......
happiness has left my front steps for a long long time....please come back, i miss you.
or maybe...it's up to me to go looking for it
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